Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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