It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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