I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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