No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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