Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this just has baby written all over it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
