Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
