I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize