I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
the raccoons are back...
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