I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
