Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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