i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
