One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
