U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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