Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
