it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
