Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
