I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
