i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
