Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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