When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
