If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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