About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize