C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
