3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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