And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
