mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
