I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
