I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
