I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
