Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
