A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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