She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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