we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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