So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did I show you my penis last night?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize