I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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