I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All the doctor said was why
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
