do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up under a house in Key West
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