Whod you bang
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
