brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
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