he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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