It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
