is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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