I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
