just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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