Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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