can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
