She announced her abortion via fbk
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
