Just fell off a train. Bad.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
