I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
