and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
