What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
