Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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