she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
