When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
