Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
