I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there was a trapeze. enough said
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
two words: eviction party
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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