I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
