Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
