I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
