I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
