So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
