Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
