he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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