i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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