i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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